Power of girl

I do not normally use foundation to cover up, maybe because there is nothing to hide in this super sunny environment. I can not be Barbie here, and anyway, it has never been in my character – perfect make-up and being girlie. Stinging Somalia sun turned me into bright tan and it is nice.

Girls in my age in Japan are most likely to have fully equipped cosmetic pouch with them all along, but I will carry first aid kits instead. Instead of glossy pink lip stick, I should bring flash light. If I go for field for couple of hours with my side window open, whole dust will cover my face. No point to cover in the morning to make me look good, you see? I applied eye-liner and mascara to make my eyes visible but it is still half size of Somali ladies. Yes, I already knew that it is not competition, and I do not have to be more beautiful than other girls to be me.

Now at least I learned that no-make up does not mean I do not care. I started using proper basic toner, serum and cream and my skin quality improved. I do not make up but I do spend good energy and time to prepare good base. I am not early 20s any more which good sleep can rejuvenate everything so I should make some effort.

Just one thing I do ensure in the field – my nails. It can not be too long and decorative as I do play volleyball with my staff and my place is too muddy and dusty. However, to cut in proper length, polished and paint light pink makes me recognize that I am a woman and I do take care of myself.
Even when I washed myself in muddy shower room with a bucket of water,
Even the water contains some dead insect….if the nails of the feet which the water washed is painted properly in red, the moment makes me happy.

Environment can be harsh, the work might be challenging, but as long as spirit, nails and skin is in good condition, woman can go forward. It is not something to be able to cover up by expensive cosmetic. It refers to something coming up from inward.
If my nails are half gone or skin got bad pimple, my energy will be vacuumed and I can not make the most of my power, rather, I should say, if I am not in best condition at work, I may recognize that my nails are not done properly.

We don’t have to be extraordinary proud of being women, but we have small moment in our daily lives to recognize how nice we are as woman. Ensure to catch the moment to make us happy and keep going!

New day has come

You may think Celine Dion does not exactly match the scenery of Somali savanna but that is only CD which our driver Chini has. The CD got little scratches and her “new day has come” repeat continuously. So it came to be almost like our Theme song when we go to field. Actually he got one another Somali song cassette but it is collection of absolutely squeaky sounds and everybody hates it (except Chini) and after all Celine Dion is only choice, I mean her New day has come is.

Her transparent voice was initially too fancy for this kind of harsh weather with full of dust and splash of the mud water, but after sometimes of repetition, we came to be used to her too-nice voice and it melt nicely into our environment. It wasn’t bad choice. New day has come.

We had 110 km x 2 return trip to Tabto today. We went through as usual dusty road, occasional rain water stagnation, stingy bushes and hot air. We stopped by three villages between where we should make police stop for inspection but other than that, we hardly see any other cars or human being unless they take herd. We met much more camels and goats in our journey. It seems to be result blooming time from previous mating season and we could see many baby camel which is covered with brown fluffy hairs (once it grown up, they became almost white) and big warhook families.
The meeting was very productive which last one hour, and we took once again two hours and half 4WD ride. 5 hours trip two ways and 1 hour meeting. It does not sound very efficient but once we are in the field efficiency is not the priority one agenda. There are people whom we should meet and we can not stay overnight due to security issue, and we should spend more time for preparation or traveling to get this a little result. Well, but without this accumulation of little result, we really can not achieve anything in the field.
We are feeding few hundred thousand beneficiary, but putting big figure in excel worksheet isn’t our final concern. These few hundred thousand consists of each individual who has history, family, problem and things to tell us. Of course we can not meet every single beneficiary, but the reason for us to stay in the field and go to the field is to focus on this individual concern and complain to adjust what we are doing. Honestly, I learned enough to make nice report to justify I work hard enough, but I really want to keep my real foot and spirit on the ground to have real touch with the people. Beneficiary is not the subject, but the real human we are dealing with.

Having continuous similar type of days pass by, but it is always new days, new people and new issue. I do not want to get used to my life, my work and my environment which let me be lazy. I have to keep some kind of tension and fresh mind to tackle daily challenge. Even though people sometimes come up with similar/same problem, if the environment or their village is different, there should be different solution.
New day has come. - Through the darkness and good times I knew I'd make it through And the world thought I had it all But I was waiting for you

Body for travel

We left 10:00 am in the morning, arrived at 21:00 in the evening. 11 hours Great journey covering 120 km.
It has been raining whole last night and made road completely muddy. While we had 5 land cruiser with staff and security guards, One car got stuck, then another car’s engine stopped. One car owner complained about the price we already agreed. We tried short cut, then ended up longer road. It was muddy as well bumpy road. It hit back, head then bushes got into from window which left sharp stings. It was real 10 hours bush safari!

I had good milk tea for breakfast, then only had one chocolate bar (98kcal), which last 10 hours.
What an Eco-friendly body I had! Of course, you can not expect fancy drive-in, or McDonald’s on the way,
There weren’t even proper place for tea. You may be able to get tea from near by village, and you see,
one of our guard who took tea started vomiting after 10 min. We’ve never known the quality of camel milk here and it may not be boiled. Better not to touch it when travel long distance.

Well, when I know I will be on a journey, I think my body controls herself not to feel hunger or thirst.
I didn’t even go to toilet. Toilet is another long story to tell. I do not really mind going to be open toilet after 6 years intensive experience in the field, but it still requires some courage in some location.
I should be careful of being off-road due to land mine or UXO in South Sudan. There is no issue of landmine here in Somalia but they really have terrible bush which got sting everywhere. You should really be ready to be cut and stung yourselves if you want to go to pee outside. It is not easy to pee or puu in this man-surrounding environment. Not to mention period. It is unavoidable nature but really pain in the ass when on traveling. It is almost equivalent to punishment. So, one reason or another, when I am on trip, I don’t feel like going puu and my period is much less to handle compared with normalcy. I may got Yogi body which can adjust according to environment. Very convenient, huh?

However, I am not the one who can get the real credit for this tough trip. I have two female staff with me who are real pregnant – 8 month (almost 9 month) and 6 month! I told them that they do not have to go to the field as they are in very important period, but they said they don’t mind. They knew there is lots of work and the environment here and there is no difference. Well, they really impressed me with the fact that women are strong.

It is nice to see some of my friends got best of best environment and being taken care of and have nice birth, but they really inspired me and I can believe that their kids whose moms are that brave can be really healthy!!We all know their condition so every time car bumped around, we asked “is your baby coming??” Yes, it was very enjoyable trip. You see now, why I do not complain about my puu or period in this hectic journey.
It really does not matter.

Working picnic

One day field mission @Sakow.
2.5 hours drive then 20 walk in maize field. Sun is hitting and sky is melting its blue to the air. It is the site of FFW (Food for Work), the community project that villagers are constructing creek point and they all receive family ration of food upon completion. They have high potential for flood for coming October due to El Nino, and these creek point will prevent from river not to flood which cause crutial damage to the crop. Not only damange of the crop, once river is flooding, there will be danger of crocodile (they attack humans!) and contagious disease because of poor hygiene. It sounds like crappy movie scenario but it is bloody reality.

It is such a pleasure and relief to see happy working people in this utterly crazy world. As long as I can find people who are willing for their community, don't mind staying under hot sun to do something exhausting, there is a light of hope and potential I can foresee. Walked through green maize, picked off sticking seed which I could find everywhere, took deep breath of fresh air- you see river is running calmly and crops are growing. Simple fact of life will make me so alive. This project was almost spoiled when it comes the security situation and little political complication, but I am very glad that we pushed, pulled and pushed pushed to make it happened. Once contract is signed between us and Counterpart, other thing will follow. Life is not as complicated as it seems as long as you don't lose your direction.

It was great weekend working picnic. We had good meeting with authority and counterpart and we got mountain of Mango and bananas as a survenior. I am looking forward to coming back here to see completed creekpoint. They will be ready for flooding and get crocodile sunk.

My little colleagues

We have nothing but nature is here. The best part is you don't have to pay ticket to get into our wild life reserve! We have now (besides human being) 2 goats, 6 dikdiks, 1 kudu, 1 hare, 5 turtles and many chickens. We used to have baby eagle and Guinea fao and occasionally big bull (for dinner) but they were either released or completed their mission. I used to own my cute cute 3 dikdik babies named Lio, then Chao and Wao, but they all faced tradigic death. Lio was beaten by snakes, Chao was dehydrated and last Wao got hit wooden stick. Ever since, I decided not to keep the small dikdik, now I learned that I can not be arrogant here to "own" them. They live here, and we just borrowed their space.

It is such a comfort to have little loveable creatures with us. Big eyes,

long eye lashes, fluffy hairs and amazing personality. It is interesting

discovery for me that there are different "personality" for wild animals. Some are shy, the others is naughty...they can have all possible kind of humane quality in them. - proud, sturbbon, friendly, jealous or challenging; they are just like us. They just dont use SMS to inform others. Among 5 Turtles, small girlish one is very friendly, and does not get into her shell even I touched and lifted her. She is even smiling (I am serious!) and she look so feeling good if I massage her neck. Small one is sturbbon. Once you touched it, he will pretend to be dead for at least 5 min. Very proud and didnt appreciate my company.

While Kudu, hare and dikdik are more like pets, our chicken are destined to be human consumption. We do not have chiken factory to make them fat and soft, instead our chiken are completely flee range and run around great African continent and breaths best qualitative oxyden. Meat is very masculined and kind of tough but it tastes real chicken. We normally keep 4-5 big chiken and we got couple of chicks (now they are all grown up) about a month ago.

Whenever they are noisy (some is in charge of wake up call at 2:15!) or naughty, we can promote them to fried chiken. One beautiful cook got per manent excuse (not to be promoted) as he is expected to make hen egg. We have been trying to make them hatch, but it was very difficult. Once we (human being) touched the egg, hen refuges to hold the eggs. Some are kicked by mock of hen and broke, and some are just abandoned everywhere - behind gabbage, under oven, next to washing machine etc etc.

Today, finally we got small chicks!!!!! 2 of them. They are already light yellish and very fluffy. So small and still a bit unstable of walking. They can jump off, but not jump up. They already started walking to follow their mom and I can not be tired of watching them. They are incredibly cute!!! While I am here, I can occasionally see little surprise of the mother earth. I can never imagine to have big deer (kudu) glacing at me while I am cuddling her. I didnt believe I can keep Peter rabbit like hare in my lap while am reading. I appreciate all those my small colleagues inspire me everyday.

Great hobby

How can you spend your days in the camp, besides work? Fluquent asked question. Answer is simple

1. Somali languge lesson, 2. run on tread-mill, 3. talk with my colleagues, 4. write Blog, 5. update facebook,

6. read books, 7. watch DVD, 8. play with animals, 9. cleaning my mess and 10. cooking. Basically, we have very good cook who can clean kitchen flawlessly, and 2 ladies who can make bed, wash cloth and dust the tent. I need special permission to go out so basically, I do not do shopping either (except when am in Nairobi)

No shopping, no cleaning, no cooking, no washing cloth or dishes - all excluding chores makes 24 hours all for me. What an environment!! I really can not complain this "princess" life, and I keep telling myself that I can not get too spoiled for that. Once my "front line dream" is over, I may be back to small flat, doing everything by myself, couarsing the traffic jam and unhelpful husband (yes, that part is another dream!)

Anyway, seize the day. I do what I can do NOW. So, while I appreciate my luck of not doing pretty little for basic life, I can still enjoy my cooking. It is my great hobby and method of meditation. Instead of putting yoga mat , closind eyes and folding legs, I will hold knife, opening eyes and start chopping onion. Diving and cooking are best things not to think about some stupid stuff in lives, to shut noises of inner universe.

So, I have been into cooking here. Viva la great internet connection that I can get proper recipe from it anytime, which helped. I normally had reasonable memory to remember what I had eaten and can come up with some ideas what I can try, but good recipe always makes life easy. I didnt really fail except "cake" which we didnt check any recipe and just try out putting everything seems to be OK, then in the end it looks OK but taste not OK, in other words dreadful. I knew it that we should put incredible amount of sugar (yes, that is what normally good recipe says!) and butter to make it soft, but we did put fur less sugar and no butter. Other than this experiment, what we made are quite succesful. I dont think guest have ever expected to eat Moussaka or Lasagna here, which were quite nice. Pawpaw jam, Dried meat (beef jerky), stuffed vegetale, BBQ, Meat ball, Paella, pizza, noodle, roast beef etc etc.

We have nice oven and wide spacious (and clean) kitchen, and spending time there is great pleasure and to see everybody's smile and "thank you" after the meal keeps me going on. While am in the wall, I will try to be super chief.

Life in a box

Some people feel sorry about me having 2 hardship duty station consectuvely. However, life in the hardship isn't as bad as what you probably imagined. It is not sour grape, it is rare grape which is within not everybody's reach and amazingly tasty. I do not have to worry about traffic jam which most of my Nairobi collegues are suffering from, the food is not coloured or full of chemical - fully organic, not certified but I know. No need to be edgy about fashion or cosmetic, you can be what you are. When you are tired, your bed is 15 second away. If you are fully motivated to work, your office is 10 second away. There are no restaurant to try out, so just go to our decent cafeteria and eat what is available. If you are nature lovers, you are surronded by nature. If you are addicted to shopping or alcohol or any abusive substance, you can clean yourself here. It is simply not available, and believe me, you dont need it to make your life completed. I do love shopping and alcohol (but not abusive substance:) but it is really optional element. Maybe some extra credit added as single - no need to pick my kids from kindergarden while having so many meeting, or I dont have husband who is into gambling, or mother suffering from alzheimer's. Being single in hardship is absolutely advantage, and I just have to admit that I am very lucky to make myself available.

Life here is little bit like sanatorium in that sense. Good like minded people in clean environment. There are absolutely less factor to stress you out unless you think that your life might end here. No competition, no hussle, no chemical and no noise. You can hear sometimes hear gunshot, but I now knew that it is better noise that some people make behind your back to gossip in big cities. Life here is little bit like school dormitory too. It may not be best metapher but my life here always reminded me of my high school days, few weeks before school festival. We all got stuck in small room till very late, talked about everything to nothing, eating junk food and having ever-lasting energy to do the work like the way we save the world. Preparing something which is not absolutely important in your lives with full energy...We were stupid, energetic but so sure about what we are doing - loveable adolescence. We are all running in the same direction with lots of meaningless question, and whether result is good or bad, we attained the one of most important quality in your life.
well, the heat of the room and comfortable air to remain - which can make me cry for the things to left behind- but i dont have to, because I can be in the moment of me being so silly but sure and comfortable.
Life here is like scenes you probably see in discovery channel or national geographic. You just see them as your neighbor. There were full of complete naked people in Kapoeta, South Sudan....now I see people completely covered by colourful cloth. Aminism and Muslim. They have different colours and attitude, but they have same smile and warmth. I simply love Somali people for their extensive warmth and strength.

Once I started writing, I noticed myself that I can keep writing. I probably spent one of my best time in my life here in terms of depth of experience and width of challanges. It is not easy, and I do not have manual or model for the best solution, but what makes me feel good here is; I probably do something good to people here, and I have perfect team. There have been lots of trial and errors and ups and downs but if you have great reason to try, you should not stay in bed. Life here is full of challange, good energy, nice people and no stress. Whatelse can I expect? oh well, I can bring my personal bottle of Bacaldi if i want, but i just notice that it is not at all essential to taste life here.

(Life in a box: Photo was taken by my French colleague, Cedric in Wajid)

End of hibernation

Once it popped up my mind, there is normally no difficulty for me to put it into action, which is one of my great strength. However, whether I can maintain doing it is completely another issue. I remember last time I wrote my English blog was in Sudan....yes, it was about my motor bike lesson. It seems to be 10 years ago yet it was only one year, not I checked it, it was 2007. Damn. I have my 2 precious years blank in terms of blogging. Doesnt matter? no it doesn't. Although my brain started aging yet my years are full of dramas, ups and downs. Many things changed while more things remained unchanged. I changed my duty staiton, mobile phone, language I learn, hair style, life style and boy friend, probably much more. Things haven't been changed are: my habit of writing Japanese blog, being messy and tendency of losing my small property, and quality of life.

I decided one week before I started my new chapter in Somalia 18 June 2008, but it took more than one year to make it happen. What caused the delay? How could I be so slow? ....well, maybe because I got used to be in my environment which is inefficient and slow........? oh well, let not be so sarcastic. That is not my point. Even that Garcia Marquez said "I confirmed the fact that in the pauses between books I tended to lose the habit of writing and it was becoming more and more difficult for me to begin again." ---oh yes yes, I know exactly what you meant! Mines are not book, but just piece of scribble but princiles applied to small stuff! I should follow his policy of keeping writing "as a kind of discipline for keeping my arm in shape" My few English speaking friends keep asking "what happend your blog?" and I keep answering, "I will start sometimes soon"....then here I am! Not too late than never. Now is soon.

Anyway, one silly excuse for me not to write is; there are too many interesting stories going on here in Somalia spontaneously, popped up everywhere, and I have never dull moment to keep putting myself in front of computer for recording. They were fur more dangerous and unexpected you could probably believe. English is too public language and location and myself is so easy to identified. I didnt want to have honours to be in "hit list" in my first year as a spy who disclose the secret of South Central Somalia! Now, one year passed, and I am still breathing. I've learned a bit enough to make story in order without stepping into mire. It is about time for me to wake up and my finger should start dancing.

Well, but I decided not to tell anybody yet about my resumption of my small trial. I have to squeeze my time which is already fully packed and I want to make it interesting. As indicated in title, It is just "digestion" but should be properly spiced and have good taste. I bought my fancy Nikon (yet it is still model for amateur), so I can probably post some of vivid colours and smiles from here. Let me see how long my patience and brain keep functioning....